Worker #311692011291913

At the departing hour, it was time for him to relinquish his heart.

But his life had been laid on the tablet before his dying days, before his youth.

Even before his birth, his sacrifice had been pre-established by those devils in suits with their sighing leather briefcases.


With saddened masks they wept for this man, paid him a eulogy and shook hands with his loved ones.

But with a wicked smile, they danced their way to the bank.

Rest in peace good slave.




Stephen Riordan. (Circa 2013).


Into the forest the boy went.

The beauteous orange of an Autumn dusk surrounded him.

Crackling leaves and a woody breeze announced their presence.

He walked with little reluctance.


But soon, the forest; she grew cold.

And with it came the enshrouding darkness.

Her sister, the moon, was the only source of light.

But even she, the Goddess of Purity, proclaimed just how maddening the hour was.

And maddened the boy was!

For the trees with their thin, clawing arms tore at him.

“Nay,” they wailed, “nay, stay away.”

Although he wept, onwards he stumbled.

Deeper and deeper he delved.


But yes! There it was. The cause of many a tormented year:

A grand tree whose leaves bore all the colours of the spectrum.

“What say you?” the boy asked.

Nothing stirred in her.

“I said ‘WHAT SAY YOU?'” His rage echoed about him.

The silence decided his ensuing move.

Taking a knife, he cut out his heart and nailed it to her trunk.


Upon completion of the deed, he strode.

With a malicious grin he returned to world to which he now belonged.




Stephen Riordan. (Circa 2013).

On Interconnectivity and Human Proximity

I’ve been thinking about these concepts for a while now. And after a bit of thought and research, I’ve come up with a few ideas to throw out into the world.

So the first of these is how humans, as individuals, are seemingly connected in some way. We live our own lives but our paths cross with others and we interact with hundreds of people a day. I mean I’ll get into destiny vs random events later. But for now let’s think about how we’re connected.

I’m going to use some texts as examples, the first being David Mitchell’s debut novel Ghostwritten (1999).This novel has similarities to his probably more famous Cloud Atlas (2004). The former has more literal interconnectivity as we can strongly assume that all of the events in the book take place in or around the same time era, whereas in the latter the 6 stories span from the mid 19th century to somewhere far in the distant future. So hear the interconnectivity is more metaphorical or in terms of parallel time periods occurring simultaneously. But I’ll get into that some other time.

But for now, we’ll discuss Ghostwritten. This text is about individual stories that are tied together by their characters having interactions or actions that affect others. I’ll give an example that sounds very complex out of context but bare with me. Ok, so on the Holy Mountain in China (Part 4 of the Novel), a woman is raped and her illegitimate daughter (when she gets older) goes to work in Hong Kong to provide money. Here (Part 3) she works as a maid for a guy who she has an affair with. Evidently, the guy’s wife leaves him and asks for her chair to be sent to her home in London. So in London (Part 7) this new guy has just slept with the wife who left her husband in Part 3. The morning after they are chatting and a delivery man delivers the chair the her house. She asks him to leave and on his way to somewhere else he saves a woman from being hit by a taxi, saving her life. The woman then hops into a taxi to the airport. Afterwards in Cape Clear Island, Ireland (Part 8) it is revealed that this woman is a scientist and has rare knowledge of war technology and for ethical reasons decides not to give her knowledge to the US Government and hides out in a remote island. Eventually she is found by the officials and her knowledge is used in technology which can arguably be seen in Okinawa, US & Tokyo (Parts 1,9,10). So it’s literally a domino effect. Each occurrence triggered an event. There are a lot more connections and other concepts throughout the novel. This is just one that I chose.

I personally love this idea of connectivity. Seemingly insignificant acts can have major consequences. These ideas do raise the question of destiny vs free will and I believe in a bit of both. I believe that things are gonna work out but I think you have to put a lot of effort in shaping your future as well. I don’t think all of our futures are mapped out for us but it’s hard to believe that everything is total consequence. I think the universe does bring people together for certain reasons. I mean two of my cousins were travelling on world trips (independently of each other) and they just happened to meet each other on the same train somewhere in Australia I think. They didn’t even know that the other was travelling. Like that’s amazing right?

This leads me on to Human Proximity in urban areas. This is a more everyday experience that I think we can all relate to in any town or city. So first just visualise yourself walking down any street in any town. As you pass people, you’re obviously going to pass strangers. You’re obviously not going to interact with every person you pass. So that begs the question, what if you have similar interests with someone you pass? It could be totally random or is it the universe bringing you two together? This is a very interesting thing to think about. It may also be unfortunate. Just say you’re walking with your headphones on. You’re listening to your favourite album or song or band. Imagine the person that walks past you is listening to the exact same thing or they have similar interests to you. Now imagine you were some divine creature looking from above the street and you could see that these two people were unknowingly connecting on some macro sociological level. Doesn’t that just blow your mind? An unknowing spiritual connection with someone you just passed. It’s really unfortunate as well though, because you may never see that person again. And they might’ve been someone you could’ve really gotten along with! There are a few things which allow recognition of similar interests and they are for example Jerseys, band T-shirts, wrist bands. They allow a silent connection and rapport with a passer-by.

I’ve lost most of you, haven’t I? If you’re still a bit confused, what I think may settle your confusion is the film The Adjustment Bureau (2011). Pretty good film. Great concept, not the best in terms of execution but all round good film. It follows similar themes of fate vs free will. And the whole individual paths and intersection theme. Watch it, you’ll get what I’m squabbling about!

So yeah, that’s my two cents on Interconnectivity. Final thoughts, I believe that we all have lasting effects on the people we meet, even if they seem insignificant. But you know, the future is yours to take!

Getting My Shit Together

Why is it that it’s always at night that people are like, “ok I’m gonna sort my life out and actually do something.” And then by the time morning comes around they’re just in the same slump they’re always in? It probably has to do with the hope of tomorrow or whatever.

This ain’t the vodka talking. I fuckin’ mean it. I’m going to sort my life out and I’m gonna do something. I’m gonna write those novels or learn that trumpet. I mean if you think about it, it’s so easy to get distracted. But it’s just as easy to fucking cut out all the negative, time-wasting shit ansd actually do something positive instead of wasting your life. Or else I’ll just wake up one morning working a 9-5 job in some dingy office and semi-detached suburban home with barely any social life, living alone waiting to die… And I can’t do that. And I’m not going to.


Wake up tomorrow and actually FUCKING DO SOMETHING!

My day with Bridget

Note: Spoilers!!


The other day I took a sick day off work because I had a cold. I mean I went into work sick the other 4 days, and it’s a school so I deserved it.

Anyway so yeah I just stayed in bed and read Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy. It was really enjoyable. I’m about halfway through the book and it’s so relatable – as much as a 20 year old gay guy can relate to a 50 something mother of 2!

The book is about Bridget’s endless struggle to find love as lovely Mark Darcy has passed away :'( but also about the stress of being a mother and figuring out new age media/ technology. It manages to be as humorous as the 1st two novels with her best friends still giving her love advice.

She is writing a screenplay in the novel and continues to put it off because of other things like love, children, social media, etc. I understood this straight away as I’m always putting off writing my novel series. I know exactly what happens in the books. It’s all planned, I just had to write it!

The new guy (guys??) in her life are so damn hot. First you’ve Roxster. He’s young – late 20’s I think. Fucking hot. I’ll give you an example: “Mmmm. The way his face looks when he’s on top of me, the stubble on the beautiful jawline [...], those beefy naked shoulders. [...] feeling his hard-on pressing against my thigh. Oh God, he is so beautiful and such a great kisser, and such a great… Mmm, mmm.” Raunchy eh? I must say well fucking done Bridget! =] Our next guy, Leatherjacketman, is equally as sexy. Sigh, why can’t I have one?? :(

Anyway, the day I was sick I read a part where Bridget goes through some dating rules. Side story, I’m on a romantic conquest at the moment so I payed attention to this part. And it’s not like a get all worked up every single time I kiss a guy. This one was different. He gave me the feels. In my chest. And it lasted like a week. So… you can understand why I reacted like this. Some of the rules are as follows:


  • Do not jump to conclusions or fantasize. Shit, spent a lot of time assuming a lot of things were happening/ weren’t happening and fantasizing! Ooops.
  • Respond to what is actually happening, not what you think is happening. Mmm, yeah I was coming up with a lot of things in my head, should’ve calmed down a bit.
  • Do not allow him to upset your life or equilibrium. Too fucking late for that!
  • Do not allow him to make you generally distracted and crazy. I looked up a bloody “5 stages of grief” plan and made a “12 stages of heartache” plan of my own using Florence + The Machine songs. I think my sanity is well gone by now.
  • Notice how he makes you feel. Oh I know all right. I know all too well! ;D
  • Always be classy, never crazy. Dammit!!
  • Don’t make him feel caged. Sent 8 messages in a row like a crazy person describing how my messages weren’t going through… turns out he was just asleep. :/

So yeah I must say I’m enjoying the book and God knows I’m learning a lot from it. Let’s just hope it all works out. For you Bridget AND for me!!

Stuff I love

Here a few things I like in this crazy world of ours!

  • Lists.  I read once in a book about this child who had aspergers syndrome that he liked lists. It’s interesting really because everyone’s got something you know? Like habits, etc.  I really love when stuff is sub-categorised by like colour or department.
  • Florence + The Machine.
  • Grace Helbig.
  • Chocolate cake with cream or vanilla ice-cream. Mmmmm indulgent. :p
  • Florence Welch.
  • Now, Now.
  • Trees.
  • Scores. I’m a major fan of movie scores. I like most types of music but scores hold a really dear place in my heart. It’s just the massive orchestrated movements and production are impeccable and really tell a story of their own. Some of my favourite scores include The Lord of The Rings, Harry Potter, Inception, Gravity, Pirates of the Caribbean, Cloud Atlas, Up, Avatar, Melancholia, Jurassic Park, ET, Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, Star Wars.
  • Chocolate.
  • Mamrie Hart.
  • Lorde.
  • Alice Glass.
  • Carey Mulligan.
  • Ke$ha.
  • Soundtracks. Some of my favourites are The Great GatsbyAmélie, Twilight (The Twilight saga is shit but there’s a serious amount of good indie bands and artists on the soundtracks), Hanna, Drive, The Hunger Games, Mamma Mia! (LOL)
  • I used to have an obsession with songs from ads. I still kinda do.
  • Mini vans – The Volkswagen ones.
  • Muted trumpet.
  • Justin Vernon.
  • Audrey Tautou.
  • London urban fashion.
  • Vintage advertisements.
  • Jazz music at night e.g. Miles Davis, Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Ella Fitzgerald, Art Blakey, etc.
  • Those few minutes before sunrise, where it’s the darkest, quietest and deadest time of the day. It’s like it’s the most alone you can ever feel yet its the most amazing feeling when the light hits the horizon.
  • Looking at places I’ll never go and people I’ll never meet on Tumblr.
  • 12.
  • Autumn.
  • Losing myself.
  • Alcohol.
  • Books.
  • Gregory Euclide’s art.
  • Old Paramore.
  • Favourite characters include Effy Stonem, Emily Fitch (Skins), Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones’ Diary), Leslie Knope, Ron Swanson, April Ludgate (Parks & Rec), Isabelle Lightwood (The Mortal Instruments), William Herondale (The Infernal Devices), Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Marshall Gregson (United States of Tara), Piotr Rasputin/ Colossus (X-Men), Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones), Juno MacGuff (Juno), Tracey Berkowitz (The Tracey Fragments), Donnie Darko (Donnie Darko), Johanna Mason (The Hunger Games), Simon Bellamy (Misfits), Josie Jones, Vod Nordstrom (Fresh Meat), Daria Morgendorffer, Jane Lane (Daria), Max Blum, Penny Hartz (Happy Endings), Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons), Lightning (Final Fantasy XIII), Jackson (Flight 29 Down).
  • Ellen Page.
  • Shannon Coffey.
  • Lana del rey.
  • Snagglepuss.
  • Lady Gaga.
  • Slightly fucked up/ damaged/ quiet/ sad/ depressed/ etc. types of people/characters because I just think they’ve been through something and they just know how the world functions and know how people act. They’re knowledgeable and modest but they’ve got stories to tell you know?
  • Favourite supernatural creature: Werewolf or Faerie.
  • Loners/ the lone wolf character.
  • Hufflepuff :P
  • A triumph over oppression.
  • Deep, heavy synths that sound like church organs.
  • VODKA.

12 Stages of Heartache

I have compiled this playlist of Florence + The Machine songs/covers to get through the grieving stages. Why 12? I don’t know, that’s just the number I got to. Here they are: 


1. Love – Bedroom Hymns. 

“This is his body, this is his love. Such selfish prayers and I can’t get enough.”


2. Anger – Howl.

“I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground.”


3. Lust – Drumming Song.

“Louder than sirens, louder than bells. Sweeter than heaven and hotter than hell.”


4. Alcohol – Hurricane Drunk. 

“I’m going out. I’m gonna drink myself to death.”


5. Longing – Over The Love.

“Everybody see I love him.”


6. Sadness – Cosmic Love.

” The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out. You’ve left me in the dark.”


7. Pain – Heavy In Your Arms.

“He took me to the river where he slowly let me drown.”


8. Emptiness – Sweet Nothing. 

“There is a hollow in me now.// You’re giving me such sweet nothing.”


9. Truth – No Light, No Light.

“No light, no light in your bright blue eyes. I never knew daylight could be so violent.”


10. Acceptance – Never Let Me Go.

“A thousand miles down to the seabed, found a place to rest my head.”


11. Healing – Take Care.

“I know you’ve been hurt by someone else.//I’ll take care of you.//Cause I’ve loved and I’ve lost.” 


12. Moving On – Shake It Out.

“And I am done with my graceless heart, so tonight I’m going to cut it out and then restart.”